Musical Humor

[Mark Feit]

A C, an E-flat, and a G go into a bar.

The bartender says: "Sorry, but we don't serve minors."  So, the
E-flat leaves, and the C and the G have an open fifth between them.
After a few drinks, the fifth is diminished: the G is out flat.  An F
comes in and tries to augment the situation, but is not sharp enough.
A D comes into the bar and heads straight for the bathroom saying,
"Excuse me.  I'll just be a second."  An A comes into the bar, but the
bartender is not convinced that this relative of C is not a minor.
Then the bartender notices a B-flat hiding at the end of the bar and
exclaims: "Get out now!  You're the seventh minor I've found in this
bar tonight."  The E-flat, not easily deflated, comes back to the bar
the next night in a 3-piece suit with nicely shined shoes.  The
bartender (who used to have a nice corporate job until his company
downsized) says: "You're looking sharp tonight, come on in!  This
could be a major development."  This proves to be the case, as the
E-flat takes off the suit, and everything else, and stands there au
naturel.  Eventually, the C sobers up, and realizes in horror that
he's under a rest.  The C is brought to trial, is found guilty of
contributing to the diminution of a minor, and is sentenced to 10
years of DS without Coda at an upscale correctional facility.  On
appeal, however, the C is found innocent of any wrongdoing, even
accidental, and that all accusations to the contrary are bassless.
The bartender decides, however, that since he's only had tenor so
patrons, the soprano out in the bathroom, and everything has become
alto much treble, he needs a rest -- and closes the bar.