From mfeit at notonthe.net  Sun Apr  9 09:23:59 2006
From: mfeit at notonthe.net (Mark Feit)
Date: Sun Apr  9 09:24:01 2006
Subject: Monster Rabbits
Message-ID: <17465.2799.93471.315988@coop.notonthe.net>

http://news.yahoo.com/s/afp/20060407/od_afp/afplifestylebritainfoodrabbitoffbeat
	Furious villagers in northeast England have hired armed guards
	to protect their beloved communal vegetable gardens from a
	suspected monster rabbit.

And because you can't have monster rabbit without a Holy Hand
Grenade...

	Then did he raise on high the Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch,
	saying, "Bless this, O Lord, that with it thou mayst blow
	thine enemies to tiny bits, in thy mercy." And the people did
	rejoice and did feast upon the lambs and toads and tree-sloths
	and fruit-bats and orangutans and breakfast cereals ... Now
	did the Lord say, "First thou pullest the Holy Pin. Then thou
	must count to three. Three shall be the number of the counting
	and the number of the counting shall be three. Four shalt thou
	not count, neither shalt thou count two, excepting that thou
	then proceedeth to three. Five is right out. Once the number
	three, being the number of the counting, be reached, then
	lobbest thou the Holy Hand Grenade in the direction of thine
	foe, who, being naughty in my sight, shall snuff it."
From mfeit at notonthe.net  Tue Apr 11 09:10:22 2006
From: mfeit at notonthe.net (Mark Feit)
Date: Tue Apr 11 09:10:23 2006
Subject: I'll have what he's having.
Message-ID: <17467.43710.98481.227500@coop.notonthe.net>

Dick Cheney and George W. Bush are having breakfast at the White
House.

The waitress asks Cheney what he would like, and he replies, "A bowl
of oatmeal and some fruit."

"And for you, Mr. President?"

George W. replies with his trademark grin, "How about a quickie this
morning?

"Why, Mr. President!" the waitress exclaims "How rude!  You're acting
like Mr. Clinton!"

As the waitress storms away, Cheney leans over to Bush: "It's
pronounced 'quiche'."