Too Proud.

[Mark Feit]

Two elderly friends, Bill and Bob, met in the park every day to feed
the pigeons, watch the squirrels and discuss world problems. One day
Bill didn't show up. Bob didn't think much about it and figured maybe
he had a cold or something. But after Bill hadn't shown up for a week
or so, Bob really got worried. However, since the only time they ever
got together was at the park, Bob didn't know where Bill lived, so he
was unable to find out what had happened to him.

A month had passed, and Bob figured he had seen the last of Bill, but
one day, Bob approached the park and -- lo and behold! --there sat
Bill! Bob was very excited and happy to see him and told him so. Then
he said, "For crying out loud Bill, what in the world happened to
you?"

Bill replied, "I have been in jail."

"Jail?" cried Bob. "What in the world for?"

"Well," Bill said, "you know Sue, that cute little blonde waitress at
the coffee shop where we sometimes go?"

"Yeah," said Bob, "I remember her. What about her?"

"Well, one day she filed rape charges against me and, at 89 years old,
I was so proud that when I got into court, I pleaded guilty. The judge
gave me 30 days for perjury."